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Innovation360-Dallas

How i360 Helped Luke Turn His Life Around

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Luke (name has been changed) was a lot like of other teenage boys: a huge sports fan who loved the Rangers, Netflix, and his X-Box. The youngest of three children and only son of prominent Dallas attorneys, Luke seemed to have everything going for him. He was smart, likable, and set up for success.

But late in high school, Luke’s life took a turn. He was bullied at school. Symptoms of ADHD surfaced. He began to withdraw from friends.  Social situations prompted a crippling anxiety in Luke. Soon he turned to alcohol and prescription pain pills to mask the pain.  Before long he was bunkered down in his parents’ home – no job, not in school, no direction in life.  Isolation and substance abuse had taken its toll.

Understandably concerned for their son, Luke’s parents reached out to Innovation360.  After assessing the situation, acustomi360 plan was developed. A member of our Life Development team brought him to the Cooper Aerobics Center for a withdrawal stabilization. But as is often the case for those in the throes of mood issues and addiction, Luke was resistant to treatment. He left the Cooper Aerobics Center and walked 11 miles back to his parents’ home where he bunkered down, in crisis but refusing to leave.

Fortunately, Luke’s parents were not alone in addressing their son’s crisis.Thanks to the powerful, positive influence of healthy relationships,i360’s Life Development team was there to support Luke and his family and able to convince him to return to the Cooper Aerobic Center. But as his substance abuse was removed from the picture, other problematic behaviors surfaced, including body image issues and binge eating.

Thanks to Luke’s relationship with the Life Development team, things started heading in the right direction. The team began to show him what authentic relationships look like – a stark contrast to the bullying he had experienced in high school. They began to work on body image issues and the importance of self-care. They worked on developing social skills, and skills to manage his anxiety, stress, anger, and shame. Team members worked out and ate with Luke to help him develop healthy, balanced lifestyle habits.And they spent free time with Luke, to help him understand how to have fun without the use of substances.

Luke fully engaged in treatment, attending an intensive outpatient program, DBT skills group, individual and family therapy and several 12-step support groups. The Life Development team helped connect the dots for Luke so he could process the things he was learning in individual and group therapy, and apply them directly to his life.

When Luke eventually moved from the Cooper Aerobics Center into a sober living facility, the Life Development team continued to work with him to implement what he was learning in therapy and to keep him plugged into healthy relationships.

In time, those healthy relationships began to take root. Soon Luke was ready to go back to school. He began at a community college, earning A’s his first semester.

Luke has been sober for two years now and has transferred to a four-year university where he has continued to make straight A’s. He plans to major in Political Science and has aspirations of becoming a lawyer, just like his mom and dad. Thanks to Luke’s commitment to his recovery and the support of his i360 Life Development Team, those dreams are on track to become reality.

Watch our video to learn more about our Life Development program: https://vimeo.com/112177384

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Breaking News: Women Also Suffer From Alcoholism

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I have a love-hate relationship with the 24-hour news cycle. I mean, we get the best and worst of humanity delivered “live and as it’s happening” all day, every day. Don’t get me wrong – I realize I’m part of the problem. As a consumer of knowledge, I have a genuine desire to know what’s going on in the world. I guess I just don’t want every dirty detail. Don’t tell me how the clock works, just tell me what time it is.

But I think a casualty of our “breaking news” obsession are the journalists who deliver it to us. There’s  a lot of pressure on those folks. I think it’s particularly tough for broadcast journalists. For some reason, possibly out of oddly placed respect, we place them on a pedestal. Not only is their hair supposed to stay in place while reporting on the beach during a hurricane, we expect them to maintain a certain level of ethical and moral standards off camera. So when they’re on camera, they’re more trustworthy.

And when their private lives don’t jive with our expectations – they suffer the wrath of public scrutiny. Such is the case with national TV journalist Elizabeth Vargas. On camera she’s perfect.  Poised. Eloquent. Respected. Off camera she’s a recovering alcoholic.

In a recent interview with Diane Sawyer, Ms. Vargas talked candidly about her long struggle with alcoholism and anxiety. You can catch that interview here.

But I love her honesty when she said, “When you’re in the cycle of this disease though, it doesn’t matter how much you have or how little you have, I—it didn’t matter,” she continued. “It leveled me. It knocked me flat on my butt. I lost sight of everything.”

According to the article, “nearly 63 percent of women in trouble with alcohol say they are also fighting anxiety.” I think we can look at Ms. Vargas at this point in her recovery and understand that alcoholism usually has trigger – in her case it was anxiety. It’s rarely, if ever, an independent disease. And alcoholism is no respecter of fame, fortune or social status. Just ask Ms. Vargas. The key is to identify the trigger.

If you are struggling with alcoholism, especially if you are a woman, we understand that you face very different struggles, pressures and expectations. We can help you. Watch our video, “Women & Addiction” to learn more, then give us a call at (214) 733-9565 to start the discussion.

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5 Things to Never Say to your Struggling Child

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It’s typical for parents to equip themselves with knowledge on how to raise healthy children.  However, we are rarely knowledgeable or prepared to deal with a struggling child.

In an effort to motivate our children toward healthy behaviors and attitudes, we unfortunately and unintentionally say things that produce more shame and resistance.  Over the many years of working with families, clients have shared their perceptions and feelings about certain statements that parents frequently make.

Below are 5 statements parents often make with love and good intention, and what their child who is struggling often hears instead:

  1. “But you have so much potential!”
    What they often hear: “So why are you such a screw-up?”
  2. “If you loved us, you would stop drinking/taking drugs!”
    What they often hear or perceive: “You are doing this to us intentionally. We have absolutely no understanding of your pain or situation.  You do not love us.”
  3. “It is best not to tell anyone you have been in rehab. What happens in our family should stay in our family.”
    What they may hear: “We are so ashamed of you.  We don’t want anyone to associate you with our family. It is not okay to reach out beyond our family for support.”
  4. “You have been provided with more than most kids could ever hoped for.”
    What they often hear: “Because you have money and privilege, you have no right to have problems.  You are a failure and a disappointment.”
  5. “You brother and sister never did anything like this.”
    What they often hear: “We love them more than you because they don’t have problems.  You do not belong in our family.  Our family is wonderful except for you.”

Intention and impact are two very different things.  We all say things in fear and pain that may not be the best choice of words to share.  There is such healing and relationship mending when parents apologize to their children for statements that may have hurt them.  Empathize with them, do not justify your statements and admit you are struggling too without blaming them. There is comfort in knowing parents are human, fallible, imperfect and willing to walk beside them in their struggle.

 

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Give me liberty, or give me death.

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I don’t know if there’s a more fervent statement in our nation’s history than Patrick Henry’s impassioned declaration at the 1775 Virginia Convention, when he asserted: “Give me liberty, or give me death!”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying our country’s liberty was that easy to win. Henry didn’t just say it and “POOF!” we’re free! Oh no. King George III wasn’t about to hand over his “new world” to the colonists. It took strength, bravery, resolve and courage for the early colonists to fight for liberty. It took making a stand and then acting on it.

Our country’s liberty and the courage of those early Americans has so many parallels to our addictions. That’s because there’s a common thread with freedom – sometimes, you just have to fight for it.

Freedom from addiction is worth the cost, the risk, the challenge to achieve a life liberated from harmful behavior. The road to liberty is not easy – but once you make the first move, we promise, you won’t regret it. Here are some steps that you can take to get started:

DECLARE YOUR INDEPENDENCE – In 1776 the Continental Congress declared that the original 13 colonials were done with the British Empire. British rule (like an addiction) was just too much of a burden. So just like Patrick Henry, you have to say it out loud. You have to say it with resolution. Whether its drugs and alcohol, pornography or shop lifting, admitting that “enough is enough” is the first step in declaring your independence from addiction.

ASK FOR HELP – The colonists didn’t fight for their freedom alone. Independence was a battle that was too big for their scant resources and experience. They brought in allies, like the French, to help them be strategic in their approach. Our team is your ally. We can help you defeat your addiction, and through our Life Development program, help you achieve enduring freedom from destructive habits.

FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT – The colonists wanted their independence more than the British wanted their afternoon tea. They didn’t win every battle. But because they kept fighting, they won the war. Fighting addiction can be a long, engaging war. It can feel overwhelming on a day-to-day basis. Don’t give up. FIGHT for it!

CELEBRATE YOUR WINS – Fireworks. Picnics. Hot Dogs. Hamburgers. Family. Close friends. July 4th is a day of celebration. Every win over an addiction deserves a celebration. Maybe you resisted the urge to drink at the party. Maybe you decided to turn off the computer rather than look at porn. Celebrate those wins. Tell someone who knows you’re struggling that you won today. Share your successes and revel in them – those celebrations will become the motivation that pushes you through the next time your addiction resurfaces.

Today is the day to declare your independence from addiction. And we can help you stand resolute in that declaration. Please call us if you’re struggling with addiction. We’ve seen and heard it all. You won’t embarrass us. You won’t offend us. You won’t surprise us. We can help. Please call us today.