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Innovation360-Dallas

How i360 Helped Luke Turn His Life Around

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Luke (name has been changed) was a lot like of other teenage boys: a huge sports fan who loved the Rangers, Netflix, and his X-Box. The youngest of three children and only son of prominent Dallas attorneys, Luke seemed to have everything going for him. He was smart, likable, and set up for success.

But late in high school, Luke’s life took a turn. He was bullied at school. Symptoms of ADHD surfaced. He began to withdraw from friends.  Social situations prompted a crippling anxiety in Luke. Soon he turned to alcohol and prescription pain pills to mask the pain.  Before long he was bunkered down in his parents’ home – no job, not in school, no direction in life.  Isolation and substance abuse had taken its toll.

Understandably concerned for their son, Luke’s parents reached out to Innovation360.  After assessing the situation, acustomi360 plan was developed. A member of our Life Development team brought him to the Cooper Aerobics Center for a withdrawal stabilization. But as is often the case for those in the throes of mood issues and addiction, Luke was resistant to treatment. He left the Cooper Aerobics Center and walked 11 miles back to his parents’ home where he bunkered down, in crisis but refusing to leave.

Fortunately, Luke’s parents were not alone in addressing their son’s crisis.Thanks to the powerful, positive influence of healthy relationships,i360’s Life Development team was there to support Luke and his family and able to convince him to return to the Cooper Aerobic Center. But as his substance abuse was removed from the picture, other problematic behaviors surfaced, including body image issues and binge eating.

Thanks to Luke’s relationship with the Life Development team, things started heading in the right direction. The team began to show him what authentic relationships look like – a stark contrast to the bullying he had experienced in high school. They began to work on body image issues and the importance of self-care. They worked on developing social skills, and skills to manage his anxiety, stress, anger, and shame. Team members worked out and ate with Luke to help him develop healthy, balanced lifestyle habits.And they spent free time with Luke, to help him understand how to have fun without the use of substances.

Luke fully engaged in treatment, attending an intensive outpatient program, DBT skills group, individual and family therapy and several 12-step support groups. The Life Development team helped connect the dots for Luke so he could process the things he was learning in individual and group therapy, and apply them directly to his life.

When Luke eventually moved from the Cooper Aerobics Center into a sober living facility, the Life Development team continued to work with him to implement what he was learning in therapy and to keep him plugged into healthy relationships.

In time, those healthy relationships began to take root. Soon Luke was ready to go back to school. He began at a community college, earning A’s his first semester.

Luke has been sober for two years now and has transferred to a four-year university where he has continued to make straight A’s. He plans to major in Political Science and has aspirations of becoming a lawyer, just like his mom and dad. Thanks to Luke’s commitment to his recovery and the support of his i360 Life Development Team, those dreams are on track to become reality.

Watch our video to learn more about our Life Development program: https://vimeo.com/112177384

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5 Virtues My Children Have Taught Me

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Raising young children has been the most difficult job I’ve had. I know that’s not exactly a newsflash for a lot of people. But I was an only child who was consistently told by my family that I would one day make a great father. Somewhere along the line their reassurances translated into a simple equation in my mind:

Raising Children = Moderately Hard/Mostly Fun.

Oh, the bliss of ignorance . . . until the moment of truth arrives.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a father of two young kids, but I was quite naïve about the lessons parenting would bring. I’ll call these lessons “virtues” in an exercise of cognitive reframing, rather than what they often feel like: grueling events that, if not respected and studied carefully, could suck one’s very will to live.

Who knew I’d learn so many virtues from my kids?

Here are my top five:

  • Enthusiasm. This one’s easy at first, especially when you are eyewitness to the birth of the most beautiful baby in the history of mankind. That’s an adrenalin rush I’ll never forget.But when the sleep deprivation kicks in, parental enthusiasm begins to peter out. You begin to ask yourself hard questions, like “What was I thinking?” and “Why won’t this thing stop crying?!” But then she falls asleep on your shoulder and you are in awe of a sleeping angel. All of a sudden all the sleepless nights become worth it, and your resolve as a parent moves forward, stronger.
  • Patience. I thought I was a patient person . . . and then I tried teaching my three-year-old how to tie his shoes. Make one bunny ear . . . make a second bunny ear . . . no not that way . . . oh, hell. Let’s buy the kid some Velcro! But these small, teachable moments (for me, not my kid) have helped me understand what is important and what isn’t. It’s a lesson I’m still learning.
  • Assertiveness. Ever tried feeding a 6-month-old a jar of strained peas? Yeah, that’s not happening, no matter how many times the choo-choo approaches the tunnel. But there’s something refreshing about the black-and-white nature of a kid’s likes and dislikes, and their innate belief that their opinions matter. I’m trying more often to make my preferences known so I’m not Mr. Wishy-Washy. I believe God gave each of us unique gifts and talents, and a unique point of view that needs to be heard.
  • Imaginative. Storytime with my kids is my favorite. To see the look on their faces as they let their imagination enter the story I’m reading is inspiring. I’m starting to better understand that we can each write our own inspiring story through the life we live and the memories we make.
  • Acceptance. My kids didn’t get to choose their dad, but the way they light up when I get home at night makes me feel as if they did. Unconditional love is a powerful thing, though I don’t doubt the power of a well-timed ice cream cone as well. My kids seem to accept me for who I am, and I’m trying the same response with the people in my circles as well. We’re each a work in progress.

Well, there’s my Top Five.

What other things your kids are teaching you? Please let me know in the comments below.

by Chris Epstein, Clinical Director of Innovation360 Dallas

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5 Things to Never Say to your Struggling Child

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It’s typical for parents to equip themselves with knowledge on how to raise healthy children.  However, we are rarely knowledgeable or prepared to deal with a struggling child.

In an effort to motivate our children toward healthy behaviors and attitudes, we unfortunately and unintentionally say things that produce more shame and resistance.  Over the many years of working with families, clients have shared their perceptions and feelings about certain statements that parents frequently make.

Below are 5 statements parents often make with love and good intention, and what their child who is struggling often hears instead:

  1. “But you have so much potential!”
    What they often hear: “So why are you such a screw-up?”
  2. “If you loved us, you would stop drinking/taking drugs!”
    What they often hear or perceive: “You are doing this to us intentionally. We have absolutely no understanding of your pain or situation.  You do not love us.”
  3. “It is best not to tell anyone you have been in rehab. What happens in our family should stay in our family.”
    What they may hear: “We are so ashamed of you.  We don’t want anyone to associate you with our family. It is not okay to reach out beyond our family for support.”
  4. “You have been provided with more than most kids could ever hoped for.”
    What they often hear: “Because you have money and privilege, you have no right to have problems.  You are a failure and a disappointment.”
  5. “You brother and sister never did anything like this.”
    What they often hear: “We love them more than you because they don’t have problems.  You do not belong in our family.  Our family is wonderful except for you.”

Intention and impact are two very different things.  We all say things in fear and pain that may not be the best choice of words to share.  There is such healing and relationship mending when parents apologize to their children for statements that may have hurt them.  Empathize with them, do not justify your statements and admit you are struggling too without blaming them. There is comfort in knowing parents are human, fallible, imperfect and willing to walk beside them in their struggle.

 

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#QuarterLifeCrisis

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#Adulting
#FirstWorldProblems
#Millennial

If you follow anyone in their mid- to late-20s on Twitter and Instagram, you might be familiar with these hashtags. As young adults leave college and enter the so called “real world,” certain problems become a trending topic, from having their name spelled incorrectly on their Starbucks cup to figuring out how to do taxes and pay off student loans.

Often, this period of time is referred to as a Quarter Life Crisis. Similar to a mid-life crisis, the Quarter Life Crisis is a period of young adulthood in which 20-somethings struggle with their new found independence. Unemployment, job satisfaction issues and trouble in friendships and romantic relationships can all add a lot of stress to a person, especially when it all comes down on them at once.

People have often joked about the struggles of millennials, claiming them to be insignificant and selfish, and sometimes they are. However, many times these issues can cause feelings of insecurity, restlessness, depression, anxiety, loneliness and uncertainty – feelings that shouldn’t be overlooked. Instead of seeking help, these young adults might wallow and end up harming relationships with their families, spouses, friends and coworkers.

July is a month of celebration. Of independence. Of Freedom. For those emerging adults who are struggling to find their independence, our team can help. Because early adulthood can be an overwhelming time in life, we work with the whole family to help develop healthy routines, tangible goals and behaviors, and a broader understanding of the emotions associated with this season. We offer young adults and parents a new approach for this phase of life so that families can flourish.

Summer College Program for Emerging Adults
This summer we’re offering two summer college programs, one for young adults and another for parents. Our programs are not “therapy” in a traditional sense.  They’re really more educational.  We focus on expectations and developing plans and strategies to successfully navigate your student’s transition into and through their college years.

We offer a 2 ½-day program that walks through the fundamentals of adjusting to college – and managing the independence that college offers maturing young adults. If you or someone you know is struggling with emerging adulthood – whether they call it a Quarter Life Crisis, anxiety, confusion, etc. – please contact i360 today. You can reach us in Dallas at (214) 733-9565, or in Austin at (512) 710-5533.